Lately it feels as though my faith lays pancake-flat at my feet; even attempting to bend down to pick it up feels exhausting. However, this process has granted me another opportunity to learn to trust my God more. I am grateful. In the last two years I have persevered through unexpected, frustrating, expensive, and often painful or very uncomfortable GI issues. These have threatened to place an additional, almost daily stress on my life that at times has been a challenge to identify...and battle.
Well, in the midst of it all, a couple weeks ago, one of our cars broke down. We really depend on this little car. Because we do a lot of driving for my husband's job, as well as for our hour-long commute to the gym where our girls are committed to a gymnastics team, we deeply rely on our little 2006 Honda Civic that is cheaper on gas than our minivan. So, on that Monday night when I turned the key in the ignition after joyfully filling up on gas at Coscto, I didn't expect the next hour of -- looking for someone to jump the car's battery, waiting for my husband and AAA to rescue my girls and I, not to mention the following day of hunting down an affordable mechanic. The morning after the car stalled, I woke up to my busiest day of the week fighting discouragement, then persevered through my quiet time with the Lord with painful GI distress. By the time I went to take a shower, I looked down at the floor and said, "Lord, I just feel like I can't do it...my faith is too low for me to reach; I need You to help me grab for it."
"He will call on Me, and I will answer Him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him." ~ Psalm 91:15
Because He is who He says He is and will do what He says He will do...the Lord came through for me. As I was showering, in one instant, these words filled my mind and spilled out of my mouth: "My Daddy will take care of me..." They filled my ears and began to breathe new strength into my soul. So, I repeated the words...again and again and again, until they were mine. And my heart was strengthened...and the GI discomfort abated...and my confident faith was renewed!!
"In the day when I cried out, You answered me, and made me bold with strength in my soul." ~ Psalm 138:3
Later that afternoon we found an affordable mechanic just three blocks away from our home, and were able to pay cash for this unexpected expense. Our car was ready the following afternoon, and my husband & I were able to bend our schedules together to rise above the inconvenience (with a little extra help from a friend :-)). Since then, every time I am tempted to feel discouraged or overwhelmed and know that anxiety may soon follow, I am reminded of my new truth, "My Daddy WILL take care of me!" I hold onto it as my statement of faith until peace washes over that dark place, and hope and light from my heavenly Father shines brightly through!